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Marriage Tips/Tidbits

Updated: Feb 15, 2022


Born in the 1960s, my favorite fairy tales included those in which the main characters, even after having been through difficult times, lived "happily ever after". Fairy tales like The Three Little Pigs, Cinderella, Snow White, and the Seven Dwarves, and Sleeping Beauty left us, as children, with the hope that we, too, would live "happily ever after".

It was in adulthood that I would come to realize that those "happily ever after", idealistic, fairy tale endings had become ingrained in my subconscious. As a result, I would spend much time in search of what would be MY "happily ever after" even if it meant creating my own. An unfortunate consequence of such ideation is experienced when those with whom we find ourselves in relationships unknowingly become a pawn in our quest for this elusive fairy tale ending.

Even in marriage, I continued my quest for the ending to the stories I had enjoyed in childhood. I romanticized life as a wife and counted on my husband to feel the same. Frustrated that he did not seem to have the same ideas about fairy tale endings, I enlisted the help of God, Himself, through prayer. For years, I prayed to God that He would make my husband the man I needed and wanted him to be. I would even list what I wanted and needed from him, as though I was making a grocery list, and present it to God in prayer. This went on for quite some time. Until, one day, I heard deep down in my spirit, "You have prayed that I make him what you want and need him to be but, not once, have you prayed that I make Him what I created him to be!"

From that moment forward, not only did I pray that he would be the man that God would have him be but even as he slept, I prayed for his health and strength. I prayed prayers of thanksgiving for the blessing of a husband that I knew that he was. This became and remains my way of prayer for my husband; that he will continue to grow in Christ and always strive to be the man of God that he was created to be.

I close this post by sharing that as I experience him grow into the man God created him to be, he exhibits qualities and characteristics that supersede any fairy tale ending I could have imagined.



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