There is Life After Death: Reclaiming Yourself After the Death of a Loved One

When someone we love transitions (or passes away, as it is often called), it can feel as though the world has shifted beneath our feet, leaving us struggling to regain our balance. I know this feeling all too well. My father transitioned at home in 2013, and my mother followed, from a nursing facility, in 2016. Even though I had been blessed to be there with them in their final years, nothing could have prepared me for the far-reaching effects their deaths would have on my life.

The truth about grief is that it can be unpredictable. Although I thought I understood what loss meant, the ways it would touch every corner of my life took me totally by surprise. For years, I was haunted by persistent and unsettling thoughts about death. Perhaps these thoughts took root after I discovered my father’s body on the floor of his office—just moments after I had seen him sitting in his wheelchair, gazing out the door. Or maybe they stemmed from the experience of losing my mother, whose spirit quietly left her body in her sleep, only a day after our last conversation. At the time, I didn’t recognize just how much those thoughts were impacting my daily life. Looking back, I see now that I was living in a fog, my mind clouded and my spirit weighed down.

Living in the Fog of Grief

Caring for my parents was an act of love, but it was also a period where I put much of my own life on pause. After they transitioned, I was left to not only grieve their absence but also to figure out who I was outside of the role of caregiver-daughter. It was as though I had lost not only my parents but also the version of myself that existed before their illness and transitions.

I would come to realize that grief didn’t come and go neatly. It lingered. At times, I found myself feeling lost and disconnected, as if I were drifting through life without direction. The dreams, goals, and even simple joys I once had seemed distant. There was a constant sense of searching for something—perhaps for the person I was before loss changed me.

Recognizing the Need for Healing

It took a long time for me to realize just how much grief had affected me. The thoughts and emotions I experienced weren’t just “part of the process”—they were keeping me from truly living. I began to understand that while grief is a natural and necessary response to loss, it’s also important to acknowledge when it becomes a barrier to healing and moving forward.

The turning point came gradually. Slowly, I noticed moments where I felt a little lighter, where memories brought smiles instead of only tears and sometimes even anger. I realized that the fog I’d been living in wasn’t permanent. With time, faith, and self-compassion, I began to see a path forward.

Finding Life After Loss

Emerging from grief doesn’t mean forgetting your loved ones or pretending the pain doesn't exist. It means learning to carry their memory in a way that allows you to live fully again. For me, this has been about rediscovering who I am and what brings me joy, even as I continue to honor my parents’ legacy.

If you are reading this and you’re in the thick of your own loss, I want you to know that you are not alone. The journey is different for everyone, but there is hope on the other side of grief. It’s okay to take small steps. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay to feel joy again, even while you still miss your loved ones.

Faith and Encouragement for the Journey

One of the most important sources of comfort for me has been my faith. There were times when I felt completely overwhelmed and unsure how to keep moving forward. In those moments, I lean on scriptures that remind me of God’s presence and love.

Here are a few verses that continue to encourage me:

• Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

  This verse reminds me that God sees our pain and is near, even when we feel most alone.

• Matthew 5:4 – “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

  Jesus’ words are a promise that comfort will come to those who are grieving.

  
  

• Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

  This scripture reminds me that I was not facing my struggles alone; God’s strength was available to me and still is.

  
  

• Revelation 21:4 – “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

  These words give me hope for the future—a reminder that pain and loss are not the end of the story.

  
  

Be Encouraged

Grief is not a journey with a clear map or a set timeline; trust me, I know. Some days you may feel like you’re making progress, and other days the sadness might feel just as raw as ever. That’s okay. Healing is not about “getting over” the loss, but about learning to live with it in a way that lets you move forward.

If you find yourself feeling lost or disconnected, reach out for support. Talk to friends, family, or a counselor. Lean into your faith trusting that it will bring you peace. Give yourself permission to feel, to heal, and eventually, to dream again.

There is life after loss. It may not be the life you had before, but it can still be meaningful, joyful, and filled with hope. Take it one day at a time, and trust that you are capable of moving forward—even if it’s just one small step today.

Looking Ahead

Losing a loved one changes us. It tests our strength, our faith, and our sense of self. Yet, amid the pain and confusion, there is a path forward. As I continue to navigate my own journey, I hold onto the belief that life, in all its beauty and complexity, is still possible after loss.

If you are walking through grief, know that you’re not alone. There is hope, there is healing, and there is life—real, abundant life—waiting for you on the other side of sorrow.

For those who are presently caring for aging parents or loved ones, I understand firsthand the unique challenges and emotions you face. My book, Parenting Our Parents, was written from my own experiences as a caregiver and is available on Amazon. In it, I offer practical guidance, encouragement, and heartfelt stories for anyone navigating this meaningful—yet often difficult—journey. If you’re seeking support or reassurance as you provide care to those you love, I invite you to learn more about the book. here.

Thank you for reading and for being a part of this community. May you find comfort, hope, and renewed strength for the road ahead.

Coach

Kathryn